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Havent blogged for nearly a mth.Thns in sch haf certainly haf not been going well in sch.My maths grades sucks.Failed or barely passed statistics test.Mr Tan's test also dun do well, and he even commented that I muz be sleeping in class b'cos many of the guys r catching up.But the fact is tat I haf nv fallen aslp in any of lessons I attended in sch before.Sad sad sad.Juz duno wad the hell is wrong wif mi.Why cant I complete a test without any careless mistakes at all?
Yesterday was the very 1st paper I sat for for prelims.It was phy practical.I looked at the qns, and I was quite pleased cos both of the experiments haf been done before during phy pract, and they r very simple.But! I had to screw up my test once again.MY GOD!!!wad is wrong??!!!As I was trying to draw the graph for the 2nd experiment, I knew sth was wrong, even wif the 1st experiment I did.I started breaking out sweat,and I had a sick feeling in my stomach tat I haf screwed up my paper,and did it badly.This is the 1st time in my entire life tat I had such a feeling during a test or exam.Had to fight back tears while in the quarrantine area while the others were discussing the answers and sat there stoning,in no mood to do anythn.Went back home,cried a little and felt better.Thought abt wad happened and I can only say tat my only consolation is tat this is only the prelims,and not the actual A level.If not,I tink I would be killing myself or banging my head on the wall for committing such stupid mistakes.I dun care if charles goh gives mi hell,I juz hope tat there is hope to change my fatal fault of commiting stupid and careless mistakes in time for the A levels.Haf no wish for my grades to be jeopardize b’cos of my carelessness.
May God help mi!!!
oUt wiF fRiEnDs //* 10:45 PM
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Today,I received the results slip for my block test.The block test is juz so badly done,and wif my A level pts of only 34 pts,I wun be going anywhere if this results were for real.The heat is on now,teachers pressuring us abt doing well,start revising and stop playing.Left abt a mth to prelims.Hope there will be significant improvements in my results then,and the same goes for my frenz.No one did well at all.Although some of us did put in effort to study,but 2wks is juz not enuf to rush all the hmwk and revise our work.It's juz stupid to haf lessons during the 1st 2 wks of hols,and even then,we still r not finished wif our syllabuses.Haiz...time to mug,but all i wanna do is slp,and watch tv
oUt wiF fRiEnDs //* 10:41 PM
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Finally everythn abt my teeth is over,or at least i hope it will be.After wednesday's visit to the national dental clinic,i hope i would nv haf to go back there any time soon.Actually tot i could save my tooth,but in the end,still had to extract it.Hope that this marks the end of the torture that my teeth is giving mi.
This yr has certainly been a bad yr for mi.My grades are falling,my teeth gave mi problems in april by 1st having 1 chipped off,and den having to haf surgery to extract wisdom tooth,den now removed the chipped one.Den my back gives mi prob, and the worst problem is my slp, which has been plagued mi since like last year.If sth else comes up,i tink i will lose my mind.Hope tat thns will look up after 1 misery has ended,which i hope is for long.
Certainly hope thns will be well,and i can find the energy and motivation to study and do my work.Has been slacking so much lately,cant even understand lectures and my tutorials.
oUt wiF fRiEnDs //* 11:47 PM
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Woo hoo~Today marks the end of the blk tests,happy tat it has ended.But the worst,tat is the results,haf yet to come.Used to the marks i get for GP already,so it doesnt bother mi much,juz wanna a C6.2nd paper which is F Maths was a total flop,wun be surprised if i can an F.The most i can get for mechanics part is 4 out of 50 marks,den statistics got some parts duno.Maths c was okok,but some idiotic qns which i shld be able to do,it was a total blank in my mind.And lastly today phy paper was quite difficult too,but shld be able to pass.
After phy paper today,we went hm,den xj,trish,jing,chicky and i meet at causeway's pizza hut to haf a feast den to catch "A lot Like Love".We sat in pizza hut for more than 2 hrs eating an chatting over food.Everyone were feeling full and bloated.Haha.But it was fun,relaxing after all the papers.Gonna go out on sat and sun.But haf to do GP hmwk too,which is tons.Haiz...
Anyway,hope everyone will do well for their exams
oUt wiF fRiEnDs //* 10:28 PM
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Was actually looking forward to going out wif my mom today,and looking forward to having a feast.However,my bro always juz has to get on my nerves or spoil everyone's mood.Went to Tampines Mall,but didnt see anythn which i had an appetite for.So after walking ard the malls in Tampines,we took the bus back to Causeway pt.When i finally decided tat i wanna eat Sakae,my bro showed mi a black face cos no buffet,said he dun wanna eat and told mi not to eat tat too.He say go hm cook noodles better.Juz so pissed off and my blood boiled.5+ and i havent eaten a meal all day,and i'm told to eat noodles.WTH...
Duno wad's going on in my bro's head.Going to be 21 yrs old in dec,but he sure doesn't act like 1. Ppl always say gals mature earlier than guys,but isn't 21 yrs old late enuf?The thns he said to my dad a few wks ago,or shld i say his plain actions broke his heart.Wad he does,his thinking and reasoning,his language...Thére's simply no use nagging at hm or scolding him.And the way i'm treated,as a female and as his sis,disgust mi.Does his frenz treat their siblings in this way too? When will he every wake up and behave like a 21 yr old mature adult???
oUt wiF fRiEnDs //* 12:58 AM
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Today was the day to remove the stitches in my mouth frm the extraction of my wisdom tooth. Lucily,it was a painless and swift visit to the dentist.Juz lie down,and abt half a min later,i'm all set to go out.Walking out of the National Dental Centre brought abt immense relieve.1 wk of torture and i've shed 4 kg.Guess tat's the only gd thn i've got out of this surgery.Since i was near to city hall,decided to go to Suntec by myself to buy some food i had a craving for suddenly. Bought dumplings,cheese hotdogs and indulged in a cup of ice blended frm coffee bean.And had pizza hut for dinner.Everythn is juz so heavenly aft juz surviving on choc milk,plain porridge and wang zai xiao man tou every day for a wk.However,my mouth still feels weird and i know everythn is not over yet.
Today's ending at the NDC marks a new beginning of another round of treatment to be done on my chipped tooth.A new round of torture,and this time,duno how long it will take and juz how much it will cost.Haiz...Guess i will be looking forward to my weight dropping down again.
Blk tests coming right up,and i noe i will definitely do badly for it.Juz hope to do as much as i can this wk before sch reopens.Haf been to the library nearly everyday and gaining momentum now,but it's juz not enuf for blk tests.Hope to maintain grades for phy,or at least pass it and maths c too.dun wanna fail again
oUt wiF fRiEnDs //* 11:23 PM
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So happy today.Went shopping wif gekeng and trish today.But trish went off 1st.Anyway,mi and gekeng went to OG Orchard to buy sth,which i cant say.We decided to pay for our stuff together b'cos $50 in a single receipt got a chance to get $50 voucher if we r the 50th customer.And we were!!!So lucky.Den we went to buy some more of wad we bought earlier.Haha.Happy!
After tat went to J8 to check out some stuff.And saw Deanna there!Such a pleasant surprise. Havent seen her for so long,and it's like she changed sooo much.Shed alot of weight.Face looks smaller,but there's still the double chin there.And the same old moley.Almost couldnt recognise her.Haha.
Cant wait to see frenz i havent seen for mths next wed.happy happy :p
oUt wiF fRiEnDs //* 10:32 PM
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i guess i'm juz such a bad fren.nv put myself in other person's shoes and resulted in causing the person so much pain and disappointment.haiz.can only blame myself if i'm not forgiven.i'm not blind to ur feelings.i noe immediately sth was wrong aft wad was done.but at tat pt of time,i juz didnt tink from ur perspective,which was juz so selfish of mi.i'm truly,extremely sorry.this is a lesson learnt and hope and promise to try not to do anythn hurting again.
oUt wiF fRiEnDs //* 8:52 PM
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3 cheers to Seletar gals.Trash the gals frm other houses.So happy for xj,jing,trish,chicky,sheng en and jama for winning 7 out of 9 matches.Although i didnt get to play cos i'm too scared,i'm happy for them.Some were close shaves,but glad tat they managed to pull through to scoring victory :)
oUt wiF fRiEnDs //* 11:46 PM
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I tink life hasn't been well at all this year.Work is piling up,grades for maths is like shit.Only physics is maintaining.My wisdom tooth has been torturing mi and leaving mi eating soft food like porridge most of the time,and left mi in the centre of constant teasing.Plus,I tink I'm gonna suffer frm insomnia soon.Even sleeping is a torture.Cant sleep without images flashing through my mind,making it difficult to fall asleep.And when I finally sleep,I dream of stupid and illogical thns.Dun understand why I'm the only weirdo wif all these problems.
At least I made myself happy today.Did some work in the morning before going to J8 in the afternoon wif chicky,xj and jing to buy some stuff.And I bought some thns for myself too,other than for other ppl.Havent done tat for a long time.I've been cooped up at hm for so long i dun even remember the last time I went out.Planned outings always turn out to be cancelled.
2 more wks of extra lessons before hols start.Even then,there's still mugging to be done for the block tests.Hope to improve both my maths subj grades,while maintaining my physics one and to enjoy myself too!
oUt wiF fRiEnDs //* 10:33 PM
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Woo hoo~I finally got a C for my standing board jump.Juz felt so happy tat i couldn't stop smiling.At least all my suffering didn't go to waste,frm banging my knee and having a huge blue-black,falling backwards,straining the muscles in the thigns and unable to walk properly.Phew~And sweat it out alot during a game of captain's ball.It feels gd to be exercising and sweating.
I can't stop feeling fear.Whenever I see sth tat has to do wif teeth,I tink abt myself.It's juz such a chore to eat now tat if I can do it,I would like to juz starve myself so tat I wouldn't haf to go through the agony of constantly being afraid tat sth might happen.
oUt wiF fRiEnDs //* 11:00 PM
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Wednesday, April 27, 2005
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Turned on the waterworks in the canteen today.Nv tot tat i would actually let my tears fall in such a crowded place.Things havent been going well since I went to the dentist.The moment I woke this morning,I juz felt like crying.There's juz the aching in my gum which is unbearable.From the start,even on the journey to sch,I had been trying hard to control myself.But the last straw came when I was eating lunch.I tot I felt wad the dentist had put temporarily had came out.I went to the toilet and when I tried to resume eating my lunch,the wall I had built up in the morning juz came tumbling down.I duno how long I can stand this.If this happens to be everyday,I duno wad I would do.And the worst thn is,my friends haf to see mi in this state,all gloomy and black.It's not as if they owe mi sth.I'm juz simply not myself,and I hate this.On one hand I'm afraid,but on the other,I cant wait til 10 May to get treatment.
Hope to see some sunshine soon...=(
oUt wiF fRiEnDs //* 10:15 PM
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Haiz...Sucky sucky sucky.Nth seems to be going right for mi.Lagging behind alot of tutorials for maths,my stupid standing board jump,and now my teeth.Standing board jump jump until I've strain my muscles and I can hardly climb stairs or sit down without grimacing in pain.And I juz went to the dentist.Guess wad?Now I haf to pull out my wisdom tooth and besides tat,it caused the tooth in front of it to be chipped off.And there's treatment to be done for tat.Haf to go to Institute of Health for tat :( I cant imagine the pain after the tooth is extracted.I read a brochure which says tat the cheek will be swollen for abt 5 days.Juz thinking abt it makes mi so depressed.Why do all unfortunate thns all come together?
oUt wiF fRiEnDs //* 10:14 PM
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Think I'm kinda unstable lately.My mood is like a rollarcoaster ride.Haiz...juz duno wad the hell is it i wan.This past wk has been quite ok,until the release of the PW results yesterday.I tot getting Band 2 was ok,until I saw someone who didnt deserve it get the same grade as mi.Juz felt like using my pen and stab the paper.Guess it's partly my fault lah anyway.Felt better after watch movie wif Gek Eng and Jing Jing they all.But I got all pissed off again because of the row of sec sch students behind us.They are juz so easily freaked out:the girls screamed at every little thns,and the guys behind were screaming too!And too scared until muscle cramp in the legs i presume.Kept kicking my seat until I was fired up and turned around to tell him off.
Today was the worst,felt bad the whole day.Woke up in the middle of the night frm the sensitivity in my gum.Dun even noe if it's my gum,or my teeth.It goes back and forth from the lower to the upper jaw,and to my head.There's juz so many problems wif my body.This affects mi alot I guess.Bad mood all day,and juz haf the urge to cry for no reason,even when I'm watching TV.I'm juz putting on a happier face now,after my mom commented tat I looked unhappy all day,and asked wad was wrong wif mi.Hope wadever it is in my gum will go away soon :(
oUt wiF fRiEnDs //* 11:40 PM
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Sucky day today.Early in the morning got stuck in the lift,all because i was trying to be nice,to wait for some one to get in.Who knows...?I was repaid by getting stuck in between the 7th and 8th floor,wif the person who caused mi to be caught in the lift carrying a bag of TRASH!It's all her bag of gargabe,her bike,her and her granddaughter's fault.If her granddaughter hadnt pressed the button,i wouldn't haf to experience this.I mean,cant she haf the courtesy to dispose her trash 1st before she take the lift,and let every other passenger smell it?!It's not as if trash smells like perfume.And she dared to lean her bike on mi while she made a call to her fren and spoke so loudly i can hear everythn through my 2 earphones.Wad am I?!A bicycle stand?Argh!I shall press the 'door close' button next time i hear some one running.
Reached sch rite on time.But as usual,all my frenz knew wad happened.Juz haf to live wif it...Anyway,decided to drop S paper.I figured it is useless to take S paper unless I can guarantee that I can get triple As and distinction for my S paper.Since I tink it’s impossible,and I wun get a scholarship,I tink I will drop it.If not my F Maths will be a mess.Hopefully,I wun regret this decision.And I tink I wun!
oUt wiF fRiEnDs //* 10:17 PM
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Help!Acheing everywhere.Didnt slp properly last night,end up wif a sore neck when i woke up.Everythn was a mad rush this wk.So many thns to do,so little time.And there entrepreneur club selling uniforms...and the cafe as well.More mad rush.I strained my hand muscle because of the stupid idiotic blender which juz refuses to blend ice which are juz slightly bigger in size.YJC is so overpopulated by J1s.If they form a mob crowd over us J2s,we will be dead meat.There's juz so many ppl in the canteen den by the time we get our food,there's only 5 min left to lesson.The time had to be spent practically swallowing down the food without much tasting.Tink i will go mad one day.My body system is already becoming haywire.
oUt wiF fRiEnDs //* 10:29 PM
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Yippie!Block tests finally over.Didnt really enjoy march hols and was kind of mugging for this wk's block tests.In the end,it seems tat i will probably fail or barely scrap through all the subj,except for maths c.Glad tat finally can relax and play,but i am definitely not looking forward to getting back the results.Already more or less noe wad's phy going to be like,since there's already extra lesson scheduled for mon,which was supposed to be no sch cos we got no test.
Boo hoo~
oUt wiF fRiEnDs //* 9:52 PM
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Wednesday, March 16, 2005
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bored bored bored.....soooooooo bored.haiz...
oUt wiF fRiEnDs //* 1:58 PM
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Juz had dinner with an old friend. Time really flies. Cant believe our friendship is already into the 8th yr. Sometimes, it doesn’t take much to make a person happy. Juz having frenz around, catching up on each other’s lives, reminiscing old times, seeing tat they are happy and healthy is enuf. Due to school and everythn, it may be impossible to meet up often, but knowing tat the person is always there makes mi feel fortunate that I am not alone in this world.
oUt wiF fRiEnDs //* 10:47 PM
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flu flu flu.why am i always the one who's hit wif this virus?nose is hurting =(.Anyway,today is finally the last day of sch.But the start of revision and homework.Boo hoo~Mon got phy extra lesson and test.Sucky.Last min thn.Now haf to chiong like siao on phy during the wkends.Juz looking out for the lunch or dinner buffet wif my family and frenz next wk.Wanna enjoy the feast and hope to get enuf slp this wk.
oUt wiF fRiEnDs //* 11:05 PM
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